I don’t need you. I don’t think we ever really “need” people. I don’t need you. But I want you. Especially when I need comfort. And everytime I want you, everytime I need comfort, you disappear. And everytime you “need” me, I’m right there. I don’t get that. I would like to say things on the inside aren’t how they appear on the outside, but they are. These are the true colors. Because when someone you love “needs” you, you’re supposed to be there…especially when you put a label on your relationship the way we have. Is it all really a fake one sided thing? Because I’m getting tired of feeling like I’m the only one with an umbrella and moreover the only one with the willingness to hold it when it starts raining.
The Good, The Bad, and Everything Caught In the Middle.
November 28, 2011
Disappearing Act
November 10, 2011
Sex is just sex, or so it is said. I used to believe that, but a few situations have reminded me that we, as humans do a few different things that ultimately make sex, not just sex.
First, you get acquainted with someone, comfortable with them during the act. They see you at your most physically vulnerable…naked.
Second, if it’s a repeating act, it becomes familiar and a friendship or some sort of “expectation” begins to emerge.
Third, sex is an act of acceptance…and most people want to, in some way, be accepted.
Sex isn’t just sex. It’s acceptance, bonding, vulnerability. And when that changes, the person feels rejected. Man or woman, it doesn’t matter.
Recently, a friend of mine was “cut off” from the occasional trysts that she and a friend had. Even more recently, a friend “cut off” the physical relationship with a friend that they had. Ultimately, both situations ended in hard feelings, feelings of rejection, and led to a couple of disappointing situations. Sex isn’t just sex….use it wisely.
November 10, 2011
"And if I have my way, you wont have to introduce them to another guy you’re dating."
— Fond friend, newly acquainted lover.
October 27, 2011
He sent me flowers. He’s in the middle of a war and he sent me flowers. I’m not his girlfriend, his fiance or his wife, but he sent me flowers. Wow.
I met him in May. He was nearing the end of his two week leave from Afghanistan. I met him on a Friday night while out downtown with a dear friend. We stopped at a local coffee shop, got our favorite Mexican hot chocolate and began to talk. There was this fine looking gentleman in a red hooded sweatshirt with machine guns all over it. My friend joked on facebook “she’s in love.”
I went over to him and said something to the effect of “I dont want to be creepy but that is a really cool jacket!” He also had a gun strapped to his side. Jeepers.
He was with his dad, a SGT in the army and a JROTC instructor. There as an evangelist out that night, talking to people. Doing what evangelists do I presume. He and his dad were engaged in some conversation. I kept looking over and laughing. My friend maintained that I was in love. He might have been right. After the evangelist bugged everyone on the patio of the coffee shop, my friend and I began conversing with this stud and his dad. We began talking about the army and such. I put on his super cool digi-camo motorcycle helmet. Yep, at this point I was in love. Oh, and he rides a yellow BMW bike. Yep, sealed the deal. I exchanged information with his dad after he found out I was in ROTC. He said he needed chaperons for field exercises. Sure!
About an hour later I received a hilarious email on my blackberry from the boy in the red rad jacket. He gave me his number and asked me out. We texted back and forth for a while and decided to go out the next night. We met up in a parking lot of a department store. I got in his truck. We rode around the city as the rain poured from the sky. 4 hours we rode around. Once the rain let up we went to a playground and swung on the swingset for a while. And at the end of the night, we stood in that parking lot for over an hour waiting for a kiss. It happened. It might have been the best kiss of my life.
He left that Tuesday. We email as frequently as we can. He recently said “I sometimes think about how much I dont want to date when I come back, and then I remember how awesome you are.” I’m sold. Then he sends me flowers? Really really sold.
I could be really good to him. Excellent in fact. I could listen to war stories. I could wipe his tears when he visits the graves of his battle buddies. I could hug him when he’s having a bad day. I can do that. I want to do that. I want to be that girl that he can call his own. The one that makes him feel like no other girl has made him feel. Because for the past few months he has made me feel like no one else has ever made me feel. He’s goofy and fun, he’s guarded but he’s kind. I hope the flowers are just the continuation of something that I’ve been waiting for. Let the fairy tale begin.
October 14, 2011
October 10, 2011
I need him like a murderer needs a gun.
October 10, 2011
It’s great to be needed but it’s really great to be wanted. The difficulty is deciphering which of the two best describe your current situation. On one hand, there’s someone who is going through a hell of a time (completely self inflicted, but nonetheless). They rely on you for certain things like Sunday morning rides to get breakfast and such. Then on the other hand, if they didn’t want you in their life they would just say so….right? I don’t know. I think the same selfish behavior that caused their trouble in the first place might ultimately be the excuse for their charade of need vs. want.
Here’s my issue: I’ve given the last 4 months to someone. And until they got themself into some trouble, it was a one way street. Hell, it’s still pretty one way. The words, the actions, all of it are self centered and frankly, energy consuming and anxiety producing on my part. I’ve strayed far beyond getting drunk and making out with a friend. And I’ve lied far beyond “oh just hanging out at so and so’s house.” But everytime, I go back and I do it all over again. He bought himself a watch with money he doesn’t have, yet complains about me not lifting my finger to grab the check for breakfast (breakfast mind you, that he woke me up and asked for a ride to). I was standing at the counter at Nordstrom today looking at beautiful jewelry. $100 tops. I wasn’t asking for him to buy it. Nor would I want him to spend the money. It would blow me away just if he offered. But I asked his opinion of what I tried on. He was busy placing bets on a football game and later remarked “what, you expect me to do ten things at once?” No, actually, I just wanted some of your attention beyond “let’s go have sex before you leave.” I just wanted him to say, “I like it,” “I hate it,” whatever! Just give me an opinion. I didn’t ask you to lay down your credit card for it, just tell me if it looks nice. But, impossible. He couldn’t even listen to why I was upset before breakfast. Instead I got a guilt speech and an attitude. Yet, when he tells me to go eff myself I’m supposed to just forgive him and move forward. Wrong, sir, wrong.
Why do girls put themselves through men like that? I know why…because we want to be wanted AND needed. But rarely can we have both. I was blessed with a great father who spoiled my mom and showed me the traits I want in a man. A man. Not a boy. Not a delinquent. Not someone who makes a mistake and doesn’t intend on fixing it. A man. Someone who won’t care if they can’t smoke around their girlfriend because she’s having surgery in a month, or won’t care if she needs a hug or two, etc. I’m not asking for the world, or even a piece of jewelry, just give me some consideration.
I’m not one for words. If you get an “I love you” out of me you are privileged. I’m an Aquarius and I’m stoic. I’m hard to read and sometimes hard to get along with. I leave people’s lives abruptly, often returning soon after, just leaving their life for a brief moment to see if they miss me or not. Yeah, complicated. But most of the time, I really just want someone that I take care of to have a little consideration for me. Ask me how I’m doing, don’t just call me because you need something. It gets old…caring so much for someone else and not getting an ounce of that care back gets really old.
October 4, 2011
hello, my name is meghan, and i’m an avid sexter.
(Source: dontcallmepeanuttt)
September 29, 2011
"
Cut your losses and don’t waste your time . Why stay in some weird dating limbo when you can move on to what will surely be better territory? Don’t want to hear it? Fine. Here’s the answer you’re looking for, “Hang in there, baby. He’s not the loser everybody’s telling you he is. If you wait and keep your mouth shut and call at exactly the right time and anticipate his moods and have no expectations about communication or your own sexual needs, you can have him!” But please don’t be surprised if he dumps you or continues to drag you through a completely unsatisfying relationship.
He is a man made up entirely of your excuses. And the minute you stop making excuses for him, he will completely disappear from your life.
Men, for the most part, like to pursue women. We (men) like not knowing if we can catch you. We feel rewarded when we do.
Don’t let the “honeys” and the “babys” fool you. His sweet nothings are exactly that. They are much easier to say than “I’m just not that into you.” Remember, actions speak louder than, “There’s no cell reception where I am right now.”
Calling when you say you’re going to call is the very first brick in the house you are building of love and trust. If he can’t lay this one stupid brick down, you ain’t never gonna have a house, baby. And it’s cold outside.
He will always be able to play the “friend” card on you. He only has to be responsible for the expectations of a friend, rather than the the far greater expectations of a boyfriend. He’s got the ultimate situation: a great friend with all the benefits of a girlfriend, whom he can see or not see whenever he wants to. He may be one of your closest friends, but I’m sorry to say … as a boyfriend, he’s just not that into you.
I don’t want to be “sort of dating” someone. I don’t want to be “kinda hanging out” with someone. I don’t want to spend a lot of energy suppressing my feelings so I appear uninvolved. I want to be involved. I want to be sleeping with someone I know I’ll see again because they’ve already demonstarted to me that they’re trustworthy and honorable — and into me.
Don’t be flattered that he misses you. He should miss you. You’re deeply missable. However, he’s still the same person who just broke up with you. Remember, the only reason he can miss you is because he’s choosing, every day, not to be with you.
It’s very tempting when you really want to be with someone to settle for much, much less — even a vague pathetic facsimile of less — than you would have ever imagined. Remember always what you set out to get and please don’t settle for less. These guys exist because there are a lot of women out there who allow them to.
Hey girl. Put down the penis, put your clothes back on, and go directly to your best friend’s house. Do not find an excuse to stay. Do not think that because of all the crazy hotness of it all, it now means that you’re meant to be together. Yes, break up sex does seem like a good idea, because hey, it’s nice to have sex with someone you have these dramatic feelings about. It makes it all, well, dramatic. But now you know. It confuses everything and makes you separate sex and emotions. So now you don’t ever have to make that mistake again. Got it? He’s into the very-bad-idea-that-masquerades-as-a-good-idea, breakup sex. Over and out.
He’s sniffing for something better, and when he doesn’t find it, he gets lonely and comes “home.” It’s not that he’s so into you. It’s that he’s so not into being alone. Don’t give him the chance to break up with you for the fourth time. (Even the idea of it sounds beneath you, doesn’t it?) Reset your breakup maximum to one and move on.
Cut him off. Let him miss you.
He doesn’t need to be reminded that you’re great.
There’s a guy out there who’s going to be really happy that you didn’t get back together with your crappy ex-boyfriend.
No matter how powerful and real your feelings may be for someone, if that person cannot fully and honestly return them and therefore actively love you back, these feelings mean nothing.
Being lonely … being alone … for many people … sucks. I get it, I get it, I get it. But still I have to say that yes, my belief is that being with somebody who makes you feel shitty or doesn’t honor the person you are is worse.
Life is hard enough as it is without choosing someone difficult to share it with.
You deserve to be with someone who is nice to you all the time.
"— (via girlsgotafacelikemurder)
August 26, 2011
Text That
You lied about your past, your fidelity, and who you were. Which is why I had no problem texting you a quick message reading, ‘No, of course I haven’t found someone else’ after I had just finished having sex.
RSS feed: http://littlemisssugarpie.tumblr.com/rss
1 of 22
Next page
